Why Do You Write What You Write?

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I completed a twelve week writing course recently to help me clean up my manuscript’s plot and what-not.  The last session was on living a writer’s life: basically setting up a routine, making time to improve your craft, journaling, etc. Our assignment was to tell why we are writing the story we are and what makes us qualified to do so…Easy, right?  Wrong.

My major professional flaw is an inability–or at least a strong resistance–to claim to be, or think I am, innately qualified to do anything.  So I get the same gut twisting sensations saying I am qualified to write a particular novel–better yet to write at all–that I did when I first stepped into the rickety airplane I planned to throw myself out of a few moments later.  I had a parachute to soften my landing and I’d taken the required class, but was I really qualified to jump out of that airplane?  Probably not.  But I did it anyway, and although fear told me I shouldn’t complete this assignment I did it anyway.

No one will ever believe you are qualified to do something if you don’t believe it yourself.  

What I submitted to the instructor:

I hate to start with the cliché I had a dream, but I will anyway because that’s really how this book began—unless you count my Happy Potter induced childhood love affair with all things paranormal.

I’ve always loved writing.  It was my outlet during my parents’ divorce and subsequent custody battle.  It was a way to rationalize through difficult decisions.  It was how I persuaded my mom to buy me my first cell phone, my first computer, my first car, and my first trip overseas.  It helped me earn my 4.0 GPA in college.  It’s how I worked through questions of faith, a form of prayer and meditation.  Writing has always been a part of my life in some form or fashion, just not always with the intent of sharing with others.

My thoughts about writing began to change once I had a child.  I had always been afraid what people would think if they knew I wrote, what they would say.  I tell my son daily to pray, be himself, and always be brave.  It didn’t take me long to realize I wasn’t practicing what I preached.

The first book I started made it six chapters before I lost motivation; I let someone’s comments influence me.  I stopped writing for a while, but then I had this vivid dream about a girl watching her home engulfed in flames and no one could stop it but her.  Her tears were my tears and her pain was my pain.  Figuratively speaking, I had been that girl once upon a time.  I woke up and started writing what I remembered, and the story progressed from there.

A common theme in everything I write, every song I choose when choreographing for my dance students, and every piece of advice I give to my son: accept who you are and what gifts God gave you.  You have to love the person God made you to be and be brave, especially when you don’t want to be.  Fear overwhelms us, it paralyzes us, and sometimes we need some external force to push up toward facing and overcoming those fears.

I think that’s what makes me uniquely qualified to write this story.  I have been this character—minus the awesome paranormal abilities—feeling friendless, struggling with family secrets, and not fitting in.  I learned that most of that isolation was created from within myself.  I had to overcome me.  I love these characters, cried when they cried, laughed when they laughed, and my bravery grew just as theirs did.  Acceptance is something we all crave as humans and something we all fear won’t be given.  We spend so much time worrying about what others will think of us; we base our worth on their opinions.  This book is about realizing it’s okay to be odd, different, and unique.  It’s those things that make us special.  You should embrace that thing about yourself that makes you different, because it is what makes you you.

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An oddly therapeutic writing exercise…

So, for the third and final voice/characterization exercise during the first week of the creative writing class we were asked to imagine our pet as a human and describe him/her.  I wasn’t going to do this one, because frankly, I didn’t want to think about it.  My dog (our first baby) passed away two weeks ago and I thought it would be too difficult.  I told my husband about my assignment and we started joking about how Joey (the dog) would look and act as a human.  We compared him to ourselves, like he got his personality traits from his adoptive parents or something. Ha!

In the end I found the exercise to be somewhat healing, instead of being sad about our loss we were laughing about his life…

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Joey Macaroni is about 5’10” tall with a lean, muscular physique.  His strong jaw and crew cut dirty blonde hair are softened by the smile he can always be seen wearing.  There is mystery in that smile and the solemn tilt of his honey brown eyes.  We realize Mr. Joey is dazzling, but please don’t think you cannot measure up to him in appearance.  Like all, he has his physical flaws such as a severe case of eczema that requires extensive treatment to maintain his good looks.

He is selfless and loyal, always eager to please.  If you are looking for someone to treat you like a princess for the rest of your days, then look no further.  He is quick to forgive and good at adjusting to any routine.  He loves to try new things and is a fast learner; a great catch for the adventurer in you.  He is cautious in his endeavors and will be sure to look for the safest procedures for any and all activities.  His tastes are rather particular and he likes both his food and his home prepared a certain way, but don’t worry because any meal you have together will be exquisite.  Mr. Joey is a foody at heart.  We recommend emailing Joey Macaroni and giving him a chance to show just how wonderful he is.

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